Holy rage

The courage it takes to heal (forgive, surrender, allow, give it up to Gaia), is infinitely more courageous than the courage it takes to kill, to fight, because it requires you to acknowledge your powerlessness. It requires faith to allow the creator and the higher order of earth, to take over and intervene.  Even though the culturally programmed belief is that we are all fighters, we must strive to get to the top of the pile and kill the evil-doers.  Facing down the demons that are housed in you and the collective unconscious, heals not only you but your soul on all of the multidimensional, fractal split timelines.

A non-dual world with only light, love positivity would be boring, meaningless and without depth. Vulnerability is power.  It truly is scores of magnitude more powerful  than a brute who has no knowledge of his own emotions.  Which make up do you think Shamans have?  Brutish and impenetrable?  No, they are penetrable, specifically, so that spirits can transmute the Shaman while he or her act a conduit for the transference of the higher realms to the lower realms.  The path to being a shaman is facing one’s own death, and experiencing their own death and with it, the death of all the perceived trauma and hindrances to clear vision. The shaman, when at his pinnacle and peak of powers will serve as a squeaky clean mirror, an empty vessel through which spirit come through from other dimensions.   A person in a ceremony with a shaman, is not being healed by the Shaman, the Shaman is served as a mirror, a clear bridge

I just switched tabs and went to Youtube, and a schizophrenia commercial talked in that perky sing-songy voice, if you just swallow this pill once a day, we will reduce your life, depth of emotion, and potential spirits trying to use you as a conduit, and your intricate beauty to being a walking zombie and you’ll mesh right in with the rest of the sheep.  How fucking creepy is this?  Because I typed “schizophrenic” in this WordPress website, they will deploy advertisements tailored for me, they can read all the websites you go on and maybe even hack into your keyboard to see what you type.  The commodification of every last centimeter of human experience until there is nothing left but treating brains as if they are drones to be programmed to consume and pay money to companies.  Why the fuck do you breath seriously!?!?! Do you breath to keep earning pay, are your lungs and beating heart only meant earn 30 cents per breath?  You might as well measure out each breath for what money its worth because that’s what you.  You are a money sign: yes you, trader, marketer, salesmen, you serve absolutely no purpose on this earth besides consumption

Bill Hicks had a great line:  If you are in marketing or advertising, kill yourself.

When will you need to buy air you cubicle monkey, hahaha monkeys we are and we plug away on keyboards and look at blue lights all day long!!!  You evolved to hunt and migrate and walk many miles every day, it is very sensible and logical for you have a heart attack on the toilet, multi-millionaire bankers, come on, we all knew his life was a huge facade and he was dead inside.

You already have to buy a human need for survival, water. What a perverse world.

Lately, I think I’ve just become angry and vibrating low when focus on complaining.  I want to simply create a new reality, clean up my perception, ascend to a higher channel of consciousness through meditation, breathwork and communication with source/Gaia, after that, souls aligned with my path and desire for ascension will cross paths with me.  We will move somewhere, begin anchoring a space for higher consciousness and with our powers begin vibration of all of humanity, doing our part for humanity.  Being the human vessels’ representatives for the spirits and heart of Gaia, in appeasing her and aligning with her mission , she will begin to provide abundance.  Abundance, as in, beyond our wildest dreams, my mind, with its programs and dimensions, and structure and primate evolution, can not conceive of the boundless love and gifts that source can provide.  Everything about this universe and multiverse is infinite and unknowable and eternal, there is no limit to the level of collective love and abundance we can attain.

This USA consensus reality, which is a shared perception that we all agree on calling “reality,” revolves around consumerism, Alcohol, Television, ego dick-measuring contests via staring at computers and doing math and selling things, is just boring and worthless to me.  I want to create a new one, a subjectively different perception of the world in my head, and in doing so, it does change my world or (the world).  I believe, and this very belief, the power of it is contingent of my faith in it being real, will show others that creation of perception is real.  IMAGINATION IS MORE REAL AND TANGIBLE THAN ANY CONSENSUS REALITY, reclaim your powers!!!  That is, when I start manifesting my dreams into reality, making them materialize right before my eyes.   I will demonstrate to the masses that  your external world is a completely subjective creation of your subconscious mind.  You just forgot to use the perfection that God gave you.  Here’s where religion gets it wrong: you are the son of God, it was not only Jesus.

When the dark stays dark, you stay asleep, while the subconscious drives the bus, into masochistic and co-dependent relationships, or the same soul lesson being presented to you in life, over and over, about say, attachment, the illusion of (possessive) romantic love. To me, this is analogous to, drawing a picture on a piece of paper with crayons, and then saying, well doesn’t this picture that someone gave me suck ? You created the picture with your hands, like you create the “qualities” that piss you off in another person.  You would not be capable of perceiving these “weaknesses” or flaws in another unless you had a deep knowledge of them in yourself and weren’t already well-acquainted with them.  These people are appearing in your life, because source is continually presenting you with opportunities to reverse and release the karmic pattern.

I’ll sit for 2 hours in a meditation and realize that emotions are a game of hide and seek, of up and down and merry go round and roller coaster rides, tears, release, joy, elation, sadness, heaviness, feeling that none of it touches down to the core, it only GUIDES me down to the core, emotions are the lights in a seemingly bottomless abyss or cave.  The flashlight of emotions has many different colors, shades, ultraviolet  frequencies.  But the deep emotions help guide me and give me more precise and rock hard tools to carve down even deeper into the more precious parts of my heart and soul.  Like mining or digging for gold, one must be re-directed constantly, or carving the David, it takes tireless, effort, precision and countless course corrections on the way. Imagine Michelangelo carving a sculpture on a living, organism, a fluid, changing, organism  This is what meditation practice is like.  Chisel away all the programming, minute by minute,  all the people that ever told you that you need to mute the beauty and truth that wants to burst out of your heart in a unique and beautiful dance or painting.

Whenever I sit down and start working on a paper for school, I grimly start typing into Microsoft Word, words start flowing out of me, then the creation engine in my brain is fired up and I think, I’d rather be creating sequences of words on topics that I actually care about like…. Buddhism, Transcendence, anchoring a new earth with the power of our consciousness’s, reaching mystical states without psychedelics, finding that we are actually Gods on earth, and you thought you had to repent, you’re a fucking God.   You don’t owe anyone shit!!! Also, the ways in which we can get back to the inner children housed in our hearts: uncorrupted, boundless, creation machines that we all are.    

The song “All That She Wants” by Ace of Base has been stuck in my head for the past month.  I play it on the computer any chance I get, I hum and sing it in the car/shower.  It must be the most addicting combination of pop synths, baseline, organ I have ever encountered.  I’m listening to it right now:  audio waves that get translated into a low hum euphoria in my brain/body.  My head starts bobbing, I remember child like fantasies and the nostalgia begins to envelope my aura.  Ahhhhhhhh, he exhales, drops his head back and his eyeballs recede into the back of his skull, as the heroin goes into his bloodstream, he enters a dreamy, surreal, pleasurable, soft and fuzzy world.

Was the 90’s group Ace of Base here sent by a nefarious soul group in a galaxy whose mission is mind control through intoxicating beats and synths as a means to keep the population numbed out on pleasure while they embed programming via the cadence, beats-per-minute of the music, using old, cryptic, Lucifarian mantras that can induce mania, tireless addiction to shopping?  But who ever said Caligula didn’t have a ball while it lasted?

I never said the matrix, addiction and designer states of consciousness can’t be fun, it is.  I like to bring up ideas, I’m not in charge of this human vessel, I only thought I was for most of my life.   My guides send down ideas in the form of spontaneous insight, intuition and sparks of heart fire, chakra activations, my light body tingling, that direct my course, or I do I simply surrender and let the divine intervene in my life?  Is the mistake in thinking that you need to work for your purpose and path to be uncovered?  Like Joseph Campbell says, when you follow your truest bliss and take one step, maybe the universe starts to open the doors for you, and remove obstacles?

How to describe the last three months of my life?  To say profound, would be diminishing it: ascending, otherworldly, blissful, transcendent, life-affirming, time traveling, hmmmm,  MAKING CONTACT though, are the operative words, with entities unseen, or the electricity, waves, transmissions, uploads to my physical vessel from the source field.  Sort of like discovering power I never knew I had, but its a power I believe every living person has: a self-sustaining energy generation system, like a renewable and completely clean energy creation and recycling in your mind body/spirit.  I had this insight come to me last night when the moon was doing it’s electric energy, trance like thing (energy in body, head, heart in meditations are much stronger for me at night).

Ok, so the moon determines the tides of the oceans and women’s menstrual cycles,  but our energy and emotional/light body transmutations and states? Nahhhhhhhhhh, couldn’t be possible, right?  When you consume western materialism and skepticism, then …….  your life simply becomes that, unimaginative, stale, absent of magic.  You manifest exactly what you think about it and what your muted subconscious desires.

This insight came to me in the midst of a sit around 10 pm, in this sparkingly electric energetic state, the type where you just sit back and enjoy the waves of energy and tinglyness. It is a metaphor, because my mind frequently tries to grasp onto metaphors to take these ethereal concepts and represent them in our 1 dimensional cave hieroglyph language called English, because what else do I have? It occurred to that every single sight, auditory sensation, perception, interaction, words I read, people I meet, places I travel, spaces I put myself in with other’s energies, are like the fuel or codes that I am downloading to my mind. And this logical computer of my mind will run this stimulus on a repeat, regardless of my intentions.   My mind will need to run on a loop for a while with, what I read on the internet that day, what show I watched, the person I talked with in class, the music I listened to and the spaces I put myself in.

So what if I just simplified it one day, and cut off the stimulus feed line? If I didn’t touch a phone, a TV, a computer, if I was in upstate new york for a week with miles and miles of farm and trees around and I was able to see what is actually coming out of Peter’s soul?  What if I need this separation to see what is actually the love coming from me and what is my true vibration and what is coming from others? Isn’t it a tragedy that many never realize they may simply have taken on others’ thoughts and emotions throughout their entire life and mistaken them for their own?  That they simply allowed a program to be downloaded to their mind by society, family structures, and institutions and never thought that maybe, this isn’t mine, I was indoctrinated, I was brainwashed.  OR I am an empath who has a hard time distinguishing what feeling is my heart and what is another’s heart because I was born a motherfucking healer, and I have a superpower in a society that is SPIRIT TONE DEAF.   OH OH OH the sensitive empath, who is labeling with a “disorder” and drugged in this sick society, would be a leader of a native american tribe, a healer, a shaman, a channel to other worlds.  

Is there a word for the emotion that describes crying, screaming, pounding your chest, and laughing at the same time?  Or comprehending on some level that earth and human flesh and this realm is all a game and no matter what happens you are more than taken care of.   Not just taken care of, more like, no matter what happens, you are never apart and you are never not bathing in divine love, or God’s (your own love?? and your higher dimensional self who exists on all planes of time and space, so you are only a fraction of your existence of a soul, within a source fields of infinitely expanding souls,  because you are a God).

To know that I have a seemingly bottomless well of trauma to uncover from this life, but mostly karmic residue of trauma from past lives and workaholic Spanish and Italian carpenters and handymen who are assholes, alcoholic Irishmen in my lineage, but at the same time, the source where the divine love flows from is infinitely powerful, ever-replenishing, galaxies and lightyears more abundant than the trauma.  That’s the realization that makes me say, fuck, today sucks and I have a lot of difficult and heavy emotions to transmute today but I got shovel made of something indestructible that’s going to get all the trauma out, no matter how long it takes, because when, and if I ever get to the bottom of that trauma, I have something unimaginably beautiful awaiting me.  That will exceed what my expectation is, by eons.

HONEST SMALL TALK day.  – Let’s have a national holiday called this.

How you doing today Pete?

“Transmuting generational trauma that goes back 4 or 5 lifetimes, sorry if I’m less than perky right now”

“I’d rather be talking to God or my higher dimensional self, and shooting up flares via my intention in attempts to contact the souls that have passed on, via silence, because they are more interesting than you.”

“Feeling kind of high on spirit right now, floaty, giggly, empowered, almost psychedelic in a way, is time slowing down?  Think I might be ascending to a higher level of consciousness.”

(Hands in up air, eyes closed) ” I command all lost and fragmented parts of this soul of Peter, past, present, future, in all lifetimes, times, space, dimensions, realities, planes of existence, come back into me now! I embody wholeness and my powers.  (opens eyes) Oh, I didn’t see you there.”

“Baffled how I am beginning to love and feel a depth of gratitude for the people that wounded me and rejected me throughout my time here on earth, because it led me here.  In a weird way, the people who might have had a soul contract with me to screw me over, exclude me, reject me, and not be aware of the service they were doing me at a conscious level, are noble and honorable souls.”

“The Collective unconscious is depressed as shit today and these assholes want me to listen and relay the message by invading my body and heart today.  Yeaaaaah I guess I know they just want to send me pain in order to expand my consciousness and help me discover new parts of my heart and the infinite spectrum of feeling and the ways in which any and all emotions are simply messengers and divine gifts.”

Projects :

  • Cops and Psychedelics (documentary), NYPD Ayahuasca Retreat Documentary, Mushroom excursions with NYPD SWAT Teams in the Colorado woods
  • Positive only, News Channel.  Urgent stories about the expansion of consciousness and the ways it which it is saving and rescuing our world from the brink
  • Bill in Congress to institute meditation time in all schools from pre-K on.
  • Come over and let’s meditate and dance in the grass, because fuck the false achievement matrix, bums and homeless especially, we’ll just give you a shower when you get here.  You know what Jesus says about the meek inheriting the earth.  Half the “crazy” babbling homeless people, just missed their calls to shamanize or become channelers from the higher realms 🙂
  • What if there was a shaman training and initiation program for “schizophrenics and homeless population”  we need every powerful soul with contact with higher realms we can get.  Like charging up a battery, by sitting and meditating, you are raising your consciousness and in turn raising the consciousness of those around you and the collective.

Today I thought, I have monks, a few philosophers, some priests and rabbis, handful of sufi mystics, a healer and shaman, a poet laureate, a mad scientist, a piano virtuoso, a rockstar, and a vagabond wanderer all housed in my heart and these guys just want to teach me, and the knowledge they can impart is infinite. And so do you.  Each one of them has esoteric, one-of-a-kind uniqueness that will never be able to replicated, I think they desire to sculpt me into something resembling their likeness to wield the powers and wisdom that they have.

What is more precious than something that can’t be replicated?  Your body, this life this time, your wife, kids, siblings, will never ever be replicated, and they will die. More importantly, though, you, will never be replicated.  Your soul and your essence are the greatest gift to yourself imaginable. You becoming aware of this and your highest self is the coming home-point.  Have you ever bowed to yourself, or thank yourself, or simply acknowledge that your a divine, fucking, warrior God, who is the most beautifully precious painting and organism you/ve ever seen?

What more motivation do we need to live with all the power in our heart and soul’s?  God felt like putting on a movie and creating a bunch of new characters, or say a movie of a body that lives 90 years and seeing what kind of art and beauty it might produce.  God felt like becoming conscious of herself, so Source/Gaia became conscious of herself, so we are her, we are God’s who possess everything that God does and all the knowledge of of past lives, why is it only a few brave soul have been able to acknowledge and wield this state of consciousness in which one can channel straight from God?  To have a heart is a superpower.  A heart is a portal to another dimension.

It just depends how deep I want to dive and how much time I will allot per day to sit down and let them mentor me, which of course, is done primarily in silence and solitude.   These teachers voices are clarified better and turned up in volume, the deeper I breath. Also holding my breath for extended periods of time, until I can’t any longer, helps to oxygenate the cells and bring the wisdom from the spirits around me.  From my early stages of apprenticeship with these masters that live in my heart, they have already made clear, that for my soul and heart, only they can provide the most pertinent and highest knowledge, they have let me know that that no geniuses, or philosophers or books out there in the external world, can come even close from this knowledge coming from within.  Because only they have the exact grooves and slants in the key, that was engineered to unlock this soul and heart.  There is only one of me, and there is only one key in the universe to you, and it lies inside of you.

They have imparted to me, that no mystic, healer, monk, shaman out there knows about the ways in which my own soul will be unlocked and used for the highest good of the Cosmos.  These masters living in my soul and heart might just be my own ancestors, or the remnants of the infinite store of knowledge from my past lives, but either way, it seems, along with knowing Peter’s highest soul path, they have expanse-less and infinite knowledge about the universe.  Not book knowledge, not linear knowledge, or logical knowledge, but knowledge in the sense of soul knowing, in the sense of being able to teach me how to eventually merge with every living particle and soul on this earth and through that, release me to live in line with my soul hunger for change.

It has been said that one can only be free to live in complete alignment and freedom when they have acknowledged their own death wish, in other words, acknowledging that your soul wants to merge with the higher source and be in perfect union with it, to transcend this extremely limiting physical body.  I can acknowledge this, that in the midst of a deep meditative groove or trance, I want to return home, up to the heavenly and alien realms, because that’s where I came from, its my eternal home, this is a vacation, or a dream.

The greatest teacher of my life said to me, sitting a few feet away from the Amazon River, amidst the cacophony of jungle life in early evening, with a long gaze that saw right into my soul and a glint in his eye, “Jesus Christ was the greatest shaman of all time.” as he smiled his mischievous smile.  We sat quietly for a few seconds in the acknowledgement of the silliness of men and their idols.  I’ll treasure that moment for the rest of my life.  I’ll take that two weeks in the Amazon to my grave and beyond, I’ll be sitting on my deathbed, remembering his power, his courage and his role in channeling the divine that allowed me to awaken the divine channel to God, in myself.

What higher or more noble could a person serve than helping another awaken to their own divinity? One could view Ayahuasca ceremonies as a job interview sort of, it is the beginning of finding out if you are up to the task that the mothership has granted to you, awakening to the specific gifts that God gave you.  Make this man Jesus, for all intents and purposes, an ayahuasquero, a skilled shaman, is a modern day Jesus.  They perform miracles and show souls their intricate and deep connection to God and that our souls were weaved and composed within the web of God, so each of us contains the power, grace, and love of God.

Living life when you were born with a soul that has a task of some sort, is difficult, when that purpose is revolutionary, before society may be ready to accept what you have to say or has evolved.  Because throughout history we know the revolutionaries and prophets and people claiming to have knowledge of god, spirits, and the Occult, are brutally murdered and made an example of.

I have had recurring dreams for my entire life of being hunted with guns, bows and arrows, needing to jump out of planes and falling into the middle of the ocean with no paddle- like God or some soul group in a far away galaxy being like- ok Peter, we’re dropping you off on this planet Earth, with these weird aliens who have, get this, only FIVE senses, so you’ll basically be walking around handicapped, now get to work on your mission! You’ll figure it out eventually we promise!!!  Thanks guys, you wipe my conscious memory of all of my soul’s previous lives and drop me on this planet of idiots who still are still fighting over if there is a God or not.

Am I an alien?  Are we all aliens really? Let’s just be real for a second, if each of our souls are coming from different dimensions of time and space, the future, the past, a different plane of reality?  Say, you come from Alpha Centauri, and I am from before the big bang, because maybe there have been a billion big bangs.    Quantum physics and Shamanism tells us that there are 12 different dimensions, there are probably an infinite amount though, as is with everything in this universe: unimaginable and inconceivable. We were never meant to figure it all out! God is a trickster, an elvish self-dribbling basketball or machine elf / gnome akin to the ones Mckenna describes and have been widely reported in DMT trips.  If you were an all powerful God, you’d probably want to mess with your creations and simulations, because it’s fun.


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