“I’m just a soul whose intentions are good,
Oh lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood.”
“I’m just a soul whose birthright is remembrance of my divinity and swimming in boundless love,
so who gives a fuck about your opinion of me.”
This song lyric came to me upon waking today, for some reason, after some deliciously wicked dreams: all sexual and gory; ohhh I love that shadow side.
Ok here goes some empty vessel channeling, regurgitation of spirit messages, because there is no Peter, I imagined him and my imagination brought this body into being, as each of us did the same, and then agreed on this collective 3D mosaic of Gaia, we are gods with the power to construct a world. I am a clear channel, please flow through me source:
I feel that you are a soul whose intentions are not just good, what a small, neutral and weightless word. I know that you came here for much more than having a soul whose intentions are “good”. My intuition is that you came here for world change, you came here to beam that magical force in your heart into others, into Gaia, and to transform her and all the humans that reside here, to lift the helpless out of suffering and reform the sickness in this world. To dance in a way that has never been danced before, to sing a song that has never been sung. To paint a picture in words or with colors, and knit a handiquilt via art, carrying a divine heart code that only YOU have.
You can’t play small with me, you may have fooled yourself into thinking you just came here to have a loving family unit: a good job, good family, good love, good intentions, good acts. Fuck that. I take issue with you wanting “good” anything or “nice” anything, or “enough” anything, or settling for the white picket fence and a nice family unit as the crowning achievement of this dumbass collective hallucination called “culture.”
You were meant for so much more. I know your divine, you are a brave soul for even coming to earth. Instead of good, I would call you boundless, limitless, the entire universe tricked you into believing it, resides in a human body in order for you to wake up to the most powerful divine remembrance of your essence. You reside in everything and everything resides in you. Start fucking acting like it!! And laugh at yourself goddamnit, the universe wants you to laugh.
Tears are so beautiful. Now my crying sessions are more like shedding layers, I recover much quicker and I immediately recognize that tears are healing elixirs, they wash away more illusions and guide me deeper down into my own heart with each tear. Now I have premonitions about past life trauma that needs to be released. Get deep down and dig that shit out!
It’s been a sweet and slow-burn romance with my angels and spirit guides. We all got ’em, ask yours how they are doing, maybe thank these benevolent guardians once in a while? They’re only guiding you and protecting you, helping you remember your heart force and mission on earth, no big deal. Give them some attention once in a while, water their garden and give them some sunlight, maybe a hug. I literally do this now. I hug the air, but as a symbolic act of hugging my spirit guardians and guides.
I frequently recall that last night in Jamaica during the mushroom experience where this spirit came to me, (into me?) (plugged into me?) and reminded me of my mission, reminded me that she was always with me, right by my side, and pulled these stiff rod type structures out of my cheeks as I wept a seeming ocean of tears, feeling it was FINALLY safe to let all my pain out and that it was UNCONDITIONALLY heard and accepted as I gave it to her.
In the course of four or five hours that night, my desires went from a “hot girlfriend,” deep relationships, being approved and recognized by others, to……… I’m going to give every last ounce of the love in this soul, and I’m going to fight for love for all beings, because that’s what I came here for and there is nothing else that is worth living for, and really, there never was never any other soul mission. That’s what all the frustration and anxiety and roadblocks have been about my entire life, just a result of resisting the mission that my own soul volunteered to do, before incarnating here. Sounds so silly doesn’t it?
Flesh bodies and pretty faces and sexual pleasure bore me these days, its like bingeing on candy now, I see through that illusion. Ok, I’m still tempted and have lots of dreams, but the old porn mental images playing on the projector screen of my mind are slowly evaporating and being cleared out, it takes a while. Hot yoga class doesn’t make it any easier. I see the delusion and insidiousness that porn and sex fixation wreaked on my psyche and spirit. I want nothing less than world change, nothing else is worth living for, breathing for. You know why? Because who says being “awake” means no suffering? No heart hearing of the collective unconscious’s pain?
Humanity has murdered and enslaved billions of people over the millennia, and that all lives in YOU. Just the same as all the divine being’s and saints and angels live in you and world shaking acts of love and sacrifice live in you. Silly housewife and corporate foot soldier, drug addict and alcoholic…… you thought that pain and anxiety was yours? You thought that this depression and existential dread is yours? It’s humanity’s. You went thinking that humans aren’t telepathic again didn’t you?
It’s like now, (coming from spirit): Peter, yeah I get that your all bewildered and it seems otherworldly that spirits are talking to you (IN INTUITION NOT WORDS), or that you only really want to speak to God in silence these days and mouths moving and making sounds bore you and it baffles you, but was it ever really a question?
You knew, you always knew it, Peter, deep down in your bones, you know why you chose this location, this family, this time in history, your soul volunteered to be here, as did all of us. What freedom in that statement, I chose every last detail of the goings-on of this life. I chose every last spec of pain and misery and joy and ecstasy, all for the deepest, and most sacred awakening. I must have chosen it for each and every lesson, every last dissolving of a false love attachment.
Why did I come to earth? I came to REMEMBER what I am, to wake up to the fact that this is a dream and I am a divine, limitless, warrior God, that carries the entire universe in me. Wake up Peter! Spirit’s protecting you and guiding you now, your going to California, screw planning, we got your back, the right people, places and opportunities will fall into place, when you embrace your deepest soul mission, the clouds and the roadblocks will start dissolving. Oh man, the trauma and all the shit I had to dig through and confront will seem like nothing compared to what the universe has in store for me.
Love will conquer, when I start carrying abundance in my heart, already embodying the divinity and wholeness that I AM, that we all are! The universe and other souls will respond magnetically and become re-oriented to this belief, my manifestations, I will be HAPPENING to the world, instead of the world HAPPENING to me. Remembering that my words, my actions, the frequency I am tuned to, defines my world, and the people that come into my path, that I have so so much more power than I have been led to believe is life-changing, even though I still need to get better at tuning my spirit to Gaia’s frequency every single day, and the frequency of whatever star or interplanetary civilization I came from. We’re just visitors here.
If it sounds like I am navigating the mazes of my own mind and having revelations the deeper I go and the more I write, that’s because I am. You think I write this blog for the people that read it? I write it for myself. Because the alternative is just not an option, I need to share it and express it with others, just, because, the heart fire can’t stay in anymore. It’s a vicious son of a bitch. Did you think world change comes from being “happy” and docile on antidepressants, pills are a numbed out heart-less existence.
Now I see when I have anxiety and uneasiness in my energy body and I am feeling fear and retreat into old mind programs, I think Ok, my soul is trying to tell me something, what emotion do I need to transmute by sitting quietly and breathing deeply? Or What action do I need to take? My soul must be trying to say this situation or these people are no good, or that I gotta get my ass in gear and reach out to a person.
Western pharmaceuticals mute heart and sedate mind in order for you to shut your mouth and think TV and sex will complete your life. Are the men and women that anchor revolutions “happy”? People that bring change are driven by a deeper soul hunger, a soul mission, they remember why they came to earth and they fight for those who can’t fight for themselves. “Happy” is boring. If you desire to be “happy” in the definition that popular culture, self-help books and TV has laid out and jammed down your throat, the way that Grey’s Anatomy or another soap-opera predictable snooze fest defines “happy”. Then you are a rat on a wheel, but we can break free of these mind programs that TV and hollywood has installed in our minds.
All the “woke” women in NYC and the well-groomed 20 and 30 something guys with defined jaw-lines, who wear the hat or shirt from their small liberal arts, northeast university and like the same shows, watch the same sports, the dating apps are like a merry go-round of clones of attractive girls that have been lobotomized and brainwashed with corporate values. A corporation’s production mindset has been firmly implanted into this automaton’s brain, the sweet 5 year-old girl that she once was, doesn’t exist anymore, just the forced smile and caked on make-up, to hide a girl who knows deep down her soul is dying, but the world tells her that, if she can keep running on the hamster wheel, then we will aim our fake smiles at you and validate you in the same fake/denial way that we validate ourselves for showing up from 9 to 5, and being able to make a reservation at Dorsia.
I can only share my lessons and my journey and if you relate to that and resonate at all than great. I can’t go creating all these set-in-stone spiritual lessons that apply to everyone, like say the charlatans in the self-help industry. Maybe my internal galaxy is alpha centauri, your’s Milky Way, John is Dk451 which has 27 billion stars maybe, maybe the lazy people in our society, damn think of that, if they have the beauty and insights of a billion or more stars in their internal landscape, and he sits at home watching that programmed propaganda on CBS and cracks a six-pack every night.
Goddamn, it’s frustrating some days when I have this discrepancy, between what I am trying to direct and control, and what simply flows through my fingers, from spirit. It’s not as if I am unconscious or letting it take over completely like autopilot, but it sort of is. Simply the realization that the messages and intuition being transmitted to me, during meditative states, or while writing is not coming from me is monumental, and a liberation from my self-obsession. And fucking awesome, MAGIC IS REAL. Reality isn’t real!!!! 4 year-olds: don’t listen to a single word that school is teaching you, it’s all brainwashing, let’s set sail and start a colony on a deserted island away from the capitalist murderers.
oil and money, oil and money, oil and money is life, status is life, orgasm with a woman with desirable facial features makes my life worth living, having wine with good looking people at the country club makes my life complete, a mercedes makes my life complete, a nice couch and all the football channels and wings makes my life complete.
The beauty and magic happens when I surrender to it, and stop trying to take credit for all of it. Most or all of my writing, starts with one small insight, then I just start and flow with the stores and warehouses that reside in my consciousness, just cranking that nozzle the right way or busting open that one clogged up pipe with a crowbar, and damn some days it flows like a never-ending stream.
Where is the seemingly endless well of ideas, insights and connections coming from? Some might say the mind. The mind is too logical and one dimensional though, it’s rather limited in creative imagination in my opinion, absent of it, really. The mind is a byproduct of the ego and of separateness. The MIND is about self-preservation and is always thinking and orienting itself based on the past and future. I want access to the ocean of ideas residing in the collective unconscious. If we are all one. Then there is really one consciousness, all experiencing itself in different fragments, necessary for this, is this trick that we have all played on ourselves: believing ourselves separate, or functioning independently of the universe around us. It is an elaborate deception, you are me and I am you.
A stark reminder of our oneness is always, holding my breath, or imagining life without water or plants. I would be dead pretty quickly. The shape of our face, our mouths and noses is designed specifically, perfectly, almost crafted by a genius machinist to breathe air, to smell, via air, to taste flavor, via the tongue, that sits in the mouth. Alan Watts speaks about the fact that if we were made of blobs of gas, then we might have some whispy antennae coming out of the tops of these gas forms, to detect or speak in a language of chemical or gas. But no, we have mouths and noses specifically for breathing and talking and eating. My entire body is designed, my body came OUT of the earth and the stars, I didn’t come IN to the earth and a human body. My spirit came from the eternal unseen realms far far away however, as did yours. God was fucking around with some old energy lying around in his dusty basement and felt like messing around with a new creation.
Creation energy always was and will continue to propagate this energy for eternity. Osho makes this point that…. what if we stopped looking for a God, because there is the never ending question of, well then who created God then? and who created that God, and that God, ad infinitum, what if your godliness consciousness simply owes to the fact that you and the horse and the flower and the tree, and your wife were all created from this divine creation energy, all in equal measure. And everything in the universe is imbued with this godliness, the chair has as much God energy as you, everything you see hear, feel, taste, experience, has is “God” in action, simply desiring to become conscious of itself in infinite number of unique ways. So…..creation energy is God, that means that there’s no one to repent to and we can finally start playing like children again and living with all our hearts? And stop doing the silly thing, where we anoint the idols and symbols of murderous religions as sacred and untouchable?
They say that there are close to 6 million other alternatives for the incarnation of a soul and that being in a body is highly prized and coveted, so my guess, is that, you, yes you, are a fierce and brave soul, and that you came here for a reason, that this lifetime would contain a host of knowledge or lessons for your soul, or there is an energy signature, yours, that you would not be denied of delivering to this earth plane 3D.