“The reason we feel alienated is because the society is infantile, trivial, and stupid. So the cost of sanity in this society is a certain level of alienation. I grapple with this because I’m a parent. And I think anybody who has children, you come to this realization, you know—what’ll it be? Alienated, cynical intellectual? Or slack-jawed, half-wit consumer of the horseshit being handed down from on high? There is not much choice in there, you see. And we all want our children to be well adjusted; unfortunately, there’s nothing to be well adjusted to!” -Terence Mckenna
Here’s a joke:
What’s the difference between a counseling Psychology Masters program, and a psych ward?
In a psych ward, they keep them restrained and they get the proper pills to keep them sedated.
Most or all therapists, and Psychologists are emotionally traumatized, repressed, and or suffering deep emotional pain, that is why they go into the profession, as a way to alleviate their suffering. They think they can find meaning in their suffering by listening to others and offering “advice”, which is actually BS because any advice you give is filtered through your subjective soul lens and will be limited by the extent to which you have looked down into your own soul, which for many western therapists, they have barely glimpsed beneath the surface level. They are too busy being trained in silly things like CBT (cognitive-behavioral therapy) and most of the dumb systems.
One year of grad school, has ignited rage and brought me to a tipping point where I don’t think I can stomach another second of being in a classroom where the mindless and backward drivel can come near me anymore. The state of Western Psychological treatment, enrages me. It is an emotionally draining experience being in classes with this many wounded people who pretend they aren’t ground zero for dysfunction and pretend they are actually being “educated” by systems that are based solely on these synthetic constructs of the human mind mostly developed by old Swiss, German and American Jewish men who are as repressed and clueless as anyone, and many of which had tumultuous and unsuccessful relationships with women and a jaded view of sexuality.
My goal is to expose the APA (American Psychological Association) for the devil worshipping bought-and-paid-for cowards we all know them to be, in the process take down every pharmaceutical company (who is complicit in propagation of addiction and death from “legal” drugs of millions of Americans and paying off, and slanting research results done by the FDA, but really ghostwritten by independent, paid off, researchers of the Pharma companies choosing.) They say shoot for the stars with your life goals. I think this is a reasonable goal.
We live in a deeply sick Western society that values profit over all, so the Psychological model, that was borne of this, will make people mold and fit into this sick, competitive, de-humanized society, therefore anything and everything that has come of Western psychology, is meant to rehabilitate one to function better in Western society, but rather mold and force-feed one, the western ideal that assumes that every single person desires to be a fully-functioning-production-machine at every moment of their life and be content with consuming trivial, sexualized, horse-shit and minutiae that is the entertainment and zeitgeist of this culture of horny teenagers and fragile egos.
I walk by the same homeless guy every day sitting by the enclosure of the subway where I walk up the steps up to street level. Sometimes I think, what if he’s Jesus reincarnated, what if that’s the joke? Compassion for the untouchables, the lepers, the downtrodden and cast off by society. I turn the corner after passing him and go into starbucks to buy the productivity/conformity drug and think “I’m going to hell.”
I passed by him yesterday, I held eye contact for about 4 seconds as I approached him and passed by, not saying anything (I do this as a test for myself, to acknowledge his humanity, and to own the fact that I could easily give him money, but I don’t) as I turned the corner up the stairs, he said “Thanks for the common courtesy, your parents raised you well.” At first, my cynical reflexes kicked in and I was defensive for a second, thinking he was being sarcastic as a ploy. However, as I went to cross the street, it settled and I felt the recoil from the gut punch. Is it really that rare that a person looks him straight in the eye and acknowledges that he is a human, and not invisible?
I digested it as I walked over to my class on this sunny morning through Washington Square Park in New York. I sat down on a bench, across from what could only be a German family of four, with their “New York” shirts and hats, blue eyes and blond hair, chiseled facial features. Two women with dogs, holding their starbucks coffee cups had their conversation about their labs as they walked them and I gazed at the trees, writing in my journal. The sadness of this man just settled in me, like a foggy mist over a mountain range, the wet dew blanketing the high peaks, just as much as the low valleys.
Am I that immune and blind, careless, numb to the suffering of others, that I can so easily block it out? This cognitive dissonance occurs probably every day for most New Yorkers, because homeless people are everywhere in the subway. We have been told that it is ok to let people starve on the street and waste away and let society forget them. We ignore these homeless people and pretend they aren’t there, but at what cost to our own well-being? What part of our hearts is being shut down by ignoring each homeless person? It is the norm because the government tells us this is ok. The government is deeply sick and sadistic, nothing crosses a Congressman’s mind besides profit, he is bought off, find me a congressman with a soul and I’ll tell you pigs can fly.
Weird things are happening, my heart is shifting, my own plans be damned, I’m surrendering to it, I fed a stray cat the other day, what is happening???
I think that I need to be completely distanced from the toxicity of the Matrix, which is especially strong in NYC, most who are especially sensitive, would probably not be able to to live in the energetic amalgamation of crazy, that is NYC: an energetic cesspool for sensitives.
My dreams are fucked up and weird. Whose aren’t though? I think once you excavate the old sex hungry part of the brain, which I think is similar to the way one’s brain is weened off sugar, you can clear the way for more of the good stuff in dreams, like say, messages about your soul mission from the mothership. The sexual temptation is coming on strong lately though, in dreams and the morning, FULL FORCE, the unconscious is throwing the works at me to try and derail my celibacy.
What happens when I find almost every person in my life has no interest or care in the things I do? That I’m a freak through and through, that I want to DIE before I die. That I could give a fuck about the human game and 3D anymore, my soul has gotten a little nibble and taste of the higher stuff and I want to go there every second of every day. Speaking words isn’t worth the effort anymore in my opinion, I want to meditate and seduce and be seduced by Gaia and God, get in alignment with my deepest truest self and soul mission?
Do I take the path of the ascended masters? Walk across Asia? Ask my guardian angels in meditation about money and then feel a reassurance in my crown and heart center that they will provide the money and put the things in my path that are needed? Just enough to survive, but not more than that. That’s the next level assurance, the spirit warriors that anchor and lead revolutions, they sit down and meditate and pick up the phone to God, they don’t know where they are going but they let the silent source frequencies and the loving presence guide their actions.
I’m thinking about book ideas: The metaphysical Architecture of a soul overhaul ,
Awakening for a shy introvert,
-How to be an alien in a human body, resurrecting the inner superpower,
-how meaninglessness is merely a cue that a life of astounding soul thirst awaiting you.
-How to realize you aren’t shy or introverted, you simply have a truth to deliver to a diseased and sick society that wants to stay asleep.
I want this to be my last earthly incarnation and I want to ascend and become an angel who just bounces all over the universe in my all-love essence, helping aliens, 4 billion light years away, popping back in to help my grand-kids and the anti- US government militia who now has their own military bases of operation that thwarts and disarms US missiles headed for innocents. Someone to oppose the authoritarian, dictatorship of the U.S. government. Corporations have the right to be considered an individual person in the eyes of the U.S. courts and government, do you know why? So they can destroy more of the forests and earth. Because the Bush family was and is, always was, oil magnates, and they do what equals more money for oil and control, first and foremost.
I could have made the title more honest, like If you’re dead inside and you know it, clap your hands! Darkness can be so much more fun, especially in the 3D American matrix world, where militant positivity and fakeness is reinforced 1000x every day. Fuck off with your pretty face and $200,000 certificate of indoctrination (I have one of these too), you can’t hide your dead heart. The piles of money earned from investment banking can’t hide your vapid, hollow existence.
The blatant contempt of people on the bumble app is astounding, glad I detoxed off that drug, who wants to go looking for “love” (hallmark card, militant monogamy, insecure, puppy love) on a site where people are so disrespectful and so open about how miserable they are. “Love”: whatever that word means anymore, (after American advertising and the Hollywood sham has enslaved it, beaten it, fucked it in the ass over the last 50 years, and then tried to polish it up and present it to us as some kind of magic potion) is something I don’t believe should be THAT forced and obligatory.
I’m gonna go wander in the woods in maine for a few months and talk to God and trees. Talk to me energetically when you meditate, its a lot more worth your time and mine, it is said. It is heard and communicated when you put it into the cosmos. We yap on like those annoying rat dogs barking, us simple and lobotomized americans on the hamster wheel. Shut the fuck up and enjoy the orgasmic beauty occurring around your face at every single moment. If I find a girl floating through life great, if I don’t, I’m not going to be a little bitch about it and buy into the collective delusion, that I NEED anything outside myself to be happy. Advertising and movies implanted that in my head in order me to be good little boyyyyy buy that house and car and saddle yourself with tons of debt. Such a good boy you are…..