Giving unconditional love and expecting nothing in return, is hard

Can I give from this heart and can you accept? Can I give and receive equally? Can we share every part of our hearts with each other without flinching and without trying to own certain parts?

Can I feel the wildness and freedom of your heart without trying to take it as a captive of my heart?

How quickly is access granted at each checkpoint on the way to your heart?  How can I let you know the wounds will heal , and the prognosis is good.

Can I know that the light you shine on the dark places of my heart will not be here forever and I must tend to, visit, the caves, crevasses, barren deserts, black holes in my own heart, as if they were the most luscious green gardens, brimming with life, they must no longer be ignored, and you showed me that.

Can each our stars shine bright, outside the confines of competition?  Could a plant look at another plant as inferior, or look to another plant to deliver it’s nutrients? The sun, water, soil is there for that.

Can we share our inner gardens with one another, like we share the air and sky, give only what we are capable of sustaining completely with our energy?  Do I soak in your knowledge like you are a library book and then return you to the library? Do you charge my battery like an electromagnetic force?

Do I truly love you, do I see the divinity and perfection in you, that can’t be tamed or possessed?  Your trans-dimensional eternal soul that holds the power of suns and stars?  Or do I just like the illusion of companionship that has been sold to us by society? That is mostly violent and treated like a business transaction, or a sex contract?

I am born alone, I die alone and I will meet God alone.  When you die, you meet God alone.  When you take a psychedelic, you meet God alone.  I like preparing for death and meeting my creator, seeing he is working in every single particle on this earth,  and seeing what awaits me beyond the veil, when I exit the skin vehicle.

Can I swallow the truth that we cannot fulfill one another, but can enrich, synergistically via the sacred bond that is love.   Shared between souls who know and love their own deepest essence first and foremost before anything else.

My divinity, could never be lost, if it exists everywhere I look, and in everything I feel.

I love you, so I let you go, I love me, so I let me go, into the eternal abyss of love, where death is certain, but so is rebirth.

This starlight within my heart,  is the greatest lover and teacher I have ever known.

I can only hope to wield it, reflect, illuminate others’ shadows, wake them from a groggy nap with a blinding beam of goodness, or a tender and firm stare straight into the part of their eyes that reveal their deepest sadness, where the treasure lies.

I can’t heal another, my ego needed to learn this lesson 1000x over. She needs to make the decision to go into the cave alone, where her deepest treasure will lie, behind the snakes, dragons,

Because there is nothing to fear. Love is all and everything, Love is the net that catches you when you fall, and love is playing the part of “evil” “dark” “scary” for a contrast, and for kicks.

If I have no expectation of my love being returned to me by anyone of anything outside myself? Then I am free.   It was not easy and I continually fight to stay free, but it feels damn good to be free.  Even to glimpse the freedom.

My starlight shines for all and everyone.  Regardless  of who I am having sex with.   Could the sun withhold it’s light from a part of the earth because it is hurt that the part of earth couldn’t reciprocate.

The sun just shines, and your heart just loves, and it just want to be free, that’s what we came here to do.

 

 

2 thoughts on “Giving unconditional love and expecting nothing in return, is hard

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