All the times that I cried, keeping all the things I knew inside, It’s hard, but it’s harder to ignore it If they were right, I’d agree, but it’s them you know not me Now there’s a way and I know that I have to go away I know I have to go. … Read More Love asks: will you die to your former selves and let me teach you 1000 new ways to love today?
“Admit it. You aren’t like them. You’re not even close. You may occasionally dress yourself up as one of them, watch the same mindless television shows as they do, maybe even eat the same fast food sometimes. But it seems that the more you try to fit in, the more you feel like an outsider,… Read More Admit it, you aren’t like them.
Can I give from this heart and can you accept? Can I give and receive equally? Can we share every part of our hearts with each other without flinching and without trying to own certain parts? Can I feel the wildness and freedom of your heart without trying to take it as a captive of… Read More Giving unconditional love and expecting nothing in return, is hard
“I’m not judgmental, it’s you judging yourself and projecting it onto me.” she says, then her eyebrows slowly rise, the hope seeping into her eyes disarm my defenses as a smile spreads across her face. “I’m just a mirror.” She continues. “Come on.” She waves her hand and starts walking, I walk along with her.… Read More The other person is a mirror
Turn off your mind, relax and float downstream It is not dying, it is not dying Lay down all thoughts, surrender to the void It is shining, it is shining That you may see the meaning of within It is being, it is being That love is all and love is everyone It is knowing,… Read More Lay down all thoughts, Surrender to the void
Today I went to the nature preserve 10 minutes away from where I live to sit and journal for a few hours. Contained in the preserve is a castle overlooking the Long Island Sound (bay). There was a couple dressed in formal attire posing for photos with a professional photographer roughly 100 yards away from the bench… Read More The eloquence and absurdity of Gravestone epitaphs
I have been hesitant to publish any writing since I arrived back home from Peru 12 days ago. To be honest, I have been fragile, like a pregnant hormonal mother, fluctuating from despondent sadness to being overcome with gratitude and love. I have cried more and given more hugs in those 2 weeks in Peru, than I… Read More My Ayahuasca experience: Earth-Shattering
“The depressed person avoids the possibility of independence and more life precisely because there are what threaten him with destruction and death. He holds on to the people who have enslaved him in a network of crushing obligations, belittling interaction, precisely because these people are his shelter, his strength, his protection against the world. Like… Read More The Denial of Death
I changed my preference to Organ donor on my driver’s license two years ago. There’s nothing charitable about this, because I will be a bag of meat of the kind I buy at the butcher when they take my organs. It should be expected that everyone agree to donate their organs after death, in order… Read More Death and Dating apps
I’m just waking up now after my second cafe con leche, hitting my stride with this 30 minute group “sprint” we do. The caffeine lifts me temporarily out of my baseline state of apathy. I’m at the Writer’s group that meets on the top floor of this cafe in Chueca: the trendy, gay-friendly neighborhood of… Read More Meditations on Death/Language Brain Fog/Expat Rage